Thankskilling

Yes, that's a real movie. Yes, it's about a homicidal turkey puppet. Yes, you should watch it post haste.

Thanksgiving this year was glorious and delightful as only Thanksgiving hosted in my living room can be. The Utah Escapees gathered together to feed on the flesh of dead animals and watch poorly animated cartoons and senseless tv shows whilst drinking so much beer and vodka that Beth ends up being thrown into the air repeatedly while screaming.

Yes, our band of friends that had managed to escape the hell hole of happy valley consisted of a porn star, the goth kids, a drunken hippy and the successful couple that only look normal. Frank and I retreated to his apartment to retrieve hookah coals at one point, and while there we realized it was of dire importance that he put on chain mail, knee high metal boots, spiked arm guards and gather up the drinking horn and his bass guitar. Some how we had another thirty pack of beer as well.

A man pushing a stroller came across us in my giant fur coat and his metal gear with beer, guitar and skateboard covered in Necronomicon designs and pink My Little Pony wheels. He took one look at us and said, 'You guys are having much more fun than I am tonight.' To which I say, Yes, we are. If you didn't have that screeching crotch dropping I would invite you to join our rowdy band of drunken time traveling vikings. But you have that thing and no one in our Escapists group likes those so we bid you farewell.
The rest of the night was much stomping, everyone wearing the metal gear, guitar and bass playing, watching Beavis and Butthead and Tim and Erics Awesome show. The massive Scythe Frank bought Kris for Christmas last year was busted out for more viking metal effect and the rabbit and cat were cuddled and fed and played with till they both passed out from exhaustion.

So much happened but my brain is running on Four hours of sleep and a full eight hours of being a bagel monger. I'm short circuiting. My body hurts from laughing so much last night. Haven't had a wonderful time like that in a very long time.

In parting I give you Frank filling the drinking horn with beer.

Oh for the love of fuck!

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It's that time again, the time of year that I start to hear little whispers of that damned Stephanie Meyer. That's right kiddies(and middle aged frumpy housewives)! It's time to go drool of MC Double DOwns and Slumpy Mc' Dead eyes as the makes toned faces at each other and try to act out a story that has no depth, plot or originality!

I heard the first whispers of the next Twilight movie... And I am readying my bomb shelter. As I have every year, for the last few years since this shit storm began, I have pulled every GOOD vampire novel from my shelf and buried myself in it. These are all the novels that S. Meyer stole ideas from of course. She stole the whole Vampire/human/werewolf love triangle from the Anita Blake novels, the woman pregnant with a vampire is killed when the infant*** damned EATS ITS WAY FROM THE WOMB is jacked from that most delicious novel Lost Souls. Of course there are the stolen scenes from Buffy (which I never really liked) and then the bullshit about vegetarian vampires (WAT?) and SPARKLING! My brain, she hurts.

Another problem I have with the series is the whole abusive, stalker, "romance". THIS IS A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BEING STALKED AND CONTROLLED BY A MAN WHO IS OVER 100! When is that ever ok? Oh yeah, he's in a sixteen year old body and he LOVES HER BECAUSE SHE SMELLS LIKE GOOSE LIVER or some such shit. Seriously I am worked up into a rage now.

Not only has Twilight made it ok to call mediocre shit a great work of literature! and made emotional abuse, stalking and control ok, it's made me ashamed of my vampires.

My vampires aren't anything like S. Meyers vampires. Mine are blood thirsty, beautiful, damned, creatures of the night. Although some of them do hang out in the day. My vampires don't sparkle, they kill to survive, they grow and learn and change through out their long lifetimes (something Twatlight characters don't do at all. How long have they been going through high school? seriously find a new hobby) They're all so individual, Lestat, Lousie,Carmilla, Cluadia,Tarquin, Christian, Nothing and Zillah,even Jean Cluade and Asher, who are total cliche french vampire sex machine things, are all diminished now because of the stigma of Twilight.

So I prepare myself to defend what vampire literature is about. Sex, violence, rot, and being a soul forever damned to watch time change and fade while you remain the same. Fuck you Twilight, you mock the very things I love, and I will show everyone just how shitty you are.

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*Side note: This concept of GIVING BIRTH TO A DEAD CREATURE NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME!!!! But I love Poppy Z so I ignore it, it's still a damn good story...and I love me some incestuous gay vampire sex which would not be able to happen if Nothing was never born and didn't wander his way into his fathers creepy black van ok? Ok.

Bunny Recovery

Prince Teddy Vorheese. Taken before his surgery. Handsome, isn't he?

The infection had spread to his jaw. So Monday he went into surgery. They removed the tooth, the abscess and pieces of the jaw bone that were infected, abraded the area and placed antibiotic beads. They took him back to the shelter and called me to let me know he came through the surgery all right and that they would be force feeding him that night to make sure he didn't go into Stasis (a whole other common rabbit issue resulting in death) because he wasn't likely to start eating on his own soon enough after something like that.

Not an half hour later I received a facebook message from the rescue that he had begun eating both pellets and hay on his own not a half an hour after he was put in his pen! A wonderful sign!

Since then I have been to visit him regularly and every time he's a little bit better. He's obviously happy to see me as he spreads out next to me for pets and attention. He's still eating on his own and hasn't needed pain killers for a day and a half! My wonderful boy will be home with us again soon!


The day after surgery, napping on the couch.




King Hannibal Cannibal and Prince Teddy Vorheese. My two bunny loves.

Everyone could use this attitude.

The horror show that is my life

Sorry to have been AWOL for so very long. My computer suffered truama yet again and I had no access to post. Since my last post many things have happened. Kris and I celebrated our eight year anniversary (we went to Zombie Prom and wreaked havoc on the norms).

We also brought home the newest furry addition to our family. His name is Vorheese. Vorheese was rescued from the backyard hording situation in Phoenix a few months ago, so he was very timid and confused when I brought him home. He's two years old and had never lived in a house or had the love of a family either. He adjusted well and had begun to approach us for pets and treats and stopped running away when we got close to his pen. A friendly happy little bunny who adored Hannibal and who Hannibal was beginning to adore as well. For the moment we were just fostering him to be sure Hannibal and he would bond and we could all be a happy family before adopting him. The decision to adopt him was made over the weekend and I was happy with the thought of being legally able to call him mine.

That all changed two nights ago. He finally trusted me enough to let me pick him up and place him on his back to inspect his nails and teeth. I noticed his teeth were a little overgrown and hurriedly contacted the rescue to let them know I would be taking him to the vet to get looked at to be sure they weren't going to be a serious issue. Rabbits teeth grow like a humans fingernails and have to be worn down constantly or they can grown through the roof of the mouth and cause many problems. I was also concerned because his back teeth could have been growing backwards into his eye sockets so I wanted to catch it early on.

When I got home from work yesterday I checked his teeth and saw he had worn down the top ones, a good sign. But when I moved his bottom lip to check his lower teeth I found a mouthful of pus.

I froze, that could only mean one thing and I have been through it once before with my first rabbit. A jaw abscess. I hurriedly cleaned the pus from his mouth, saw that it was draining from his lower left tooth and felt along his jaw on the side. Yup, right on the left side of his lower jaw a good sized abscess. When I gently touched it to gauge the size, more pus filled his mouth. In a panic I cleaned it again and called the rescue. Since he's still a foster they had me bring him to them last night so they could get him to their wonderful vet ASAP this morning while I worked.

This is a serious thing, it can be cured but it's a long, slow, uphill battle the whole way. I'm a wreck, I was sick yesterday and the stress of this made it worse. By the time we got back from dropping him off I had had to have Kris pull over at Fry's so I could cry like a baby and throw up. My head hurt so much I couldn't see and moving was an effort. Oh yeah, and did I mention it was Kris's birthday? Yeah, Happy birthday to my darling, the best man in the world who made me lay down and forced me to sleep after we got home and I had thrown up again.

I'm waiting for the rescue to call me and let me know where exactly the abscess is, his jaw, tooth, or cheek. None of them are good but the cheek would be the least damaging one as he would only have to have it removed and a few months of Pen G injections once a week to hopefully get rid of it. A tooth would mean removal of the tooth (or teeth) then removal of the abscess pocket, then injections of Pen G for a few months once a week and hopefully it's gone. The jaw would mean things I don't want to think about. Multiple surgeries and care and bone removal and Pen G injections and I've been through it before and lost the battle and I'm so scared.

My wonderful, beautiful boy has to suffer for no reason and I am so sorry he has to go through this. But I think we caught it in time and I will do anything I have to to insure he heals and has a comfortable and happy life. He deserves it.