I can't stop listening to this song. It's a problem as it causes me to dance like a god damned whore every time I hear it. I'm not fucking ashamed either. The video makes me want my damn boob job already! Ugh, I just miss feeling attractive I guess. I know sexualizing yourself isn't a good thing but I know I'm more than a pretty face and a hot body. I also know that part of me is my looks and I take full advantage of that. I think I'll buy myself a new hooker outfit.
Whatever I'm going to go dance more.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
BACK!
I have returned from Utah! Happy, but hurt! I have a brace on my wrist, my ankle is s swollen and sore I wish I'm sitting on the couch with it propped on pillows, I've caught a cold and I'm sleeeepy.
It was a fun trip though, the weather was so nice, almost nice enough to make me forget that the winters suck huge amounts of ass. I saw All the people I love including my beautiful Eaks, she and I were supposed to do a photoshoot together but my ankle was so swollen and red that I had to bail out. :( Next time I go we are though.
I suppose I should explain why my ankles in such bad shape. I sat in a chair for almost five hours and let Sasha inject ink into my flesh. Meaning, I have a new tattoo! I finally got my gorgeous phoenix flying above my lovely crane from two years ago. I love it so much that it's worth all the pain and all the swelling. My tattoos mean so much to me, just the fact that someone I love, people that are family to me and have been there when I had no one else, means so much. They're art and heart and emotion are painted on my body forever and I proudly show them off. The phoenix represents so much happiness. The whole trip was so wonderful I will always see it and think good feelings.
Blake and Ericas wedding was lovely. I don't normally like weddings. I find them boring and since i think marriage is sort of stupid, I normally tune out. This time was fun though, I knew both the bride and groom very well, I knew the families of both, we got to wear fun dresses and I didn't have to worry about my tattoos showing. Blake was so happy, so was Erica. I'm happy for them, I hope they stay that way. I may find the whole ideal of marriage stupid but I don't think the people getting married are stupid or anything, I just zone on the whole ceremony part.
After the wedding we all hung out in my childhood best friends backyard, we dug a fire pit,drank beers, roasted hotdogs, listened to music, hooted and hollered and laughed. Eaks brought her baby boy Noran, who I adore. If I could be guaranteed a baby like him I would reconsider my childfree stance. So much fun.
The only thing that makes me sad is now I miss my friends desperately. I want to be near Sasha and Eaks and Kelly. I want the support I had with them. I'll never have real friends in this town and that point was hammered home when I kissed Eaks and Noran goodbye. When I told Sasha and Nate I'd be back and left the house that was my home during the darkest part of my life. Walking out of Dallins backyard and calling back to the boys that they were always welcome with us. I miss my real friends. I'm considering moving back to Salt Lake. But so many people there make me dread living there again. I got out! I got away! Why can't they all move to me?!
It was a fun trip though, the weather was so nice, almost nice enough to make me forget that the winters suck huge amounts of ass. I saw All the people I love including my beautiful Eaks, she and I were supposed to do a photoshoot together but my ankle was so swollen and red that I had to bail out. :( Next time I go we are though.
I suppose I should explain why my ankles in such bad shape. I sat in a chair for almost five hours and let Sasha inject ink into my flesh. Meaning, I have a new tattoo! I finally got my gorgeous phoenix flying above my lovely crane from two years ago. I love it so much that it's worth all the pain and all the swelling. My tattoos mean so much to me, just the fact that someone I love, people that are family to me and have been there when I had no one else, means so much. They're art and heart and emotion are painted on my body forever and I proudly show them off. The phoenix represents so much happiness. The whole trip was so wonderful I will always see it and think good feelings.
Blake and Ericas wedding was lovely. I don't normally like weddings. I find them boring and since i think marriage is sort of stupid, I normally tune out. This time was fun though, I knew both the bride and groom very well, I knew the families of both, we got to wear fun dresses and I didn't have to worry about my tattoos showing. Blake was so happy, so was Erica. I'm happy for them, I hope they stay that way. I may find the whole ideal of marriage stupid but I don't think the people getting married are stupid or anything, I just zone on the whole ceremony part.
After the wedding we all hung out in my childhood best friends backyard, we dug a fire pit,drank beers, roasted hotdogs, listened to music, hooted and hollered and laughed. Eaks brought her baby boy Noran, who I adore. If I could be guaranteed a baby like him I would reconsider my childfree stance. So much fun.
The only thing that makes me sad is now I miss my friends desperately. I want to be near Sasha and Eaks and Kelly. I want the support I had with them. I'll never have real friends in this town and that point was hammered home when I kissed Eaks and Noran goodbye. When I told Sasha and Nate I'd be back and left the house that was my home during the darkest part of my life. Walking out of Dallins backyard and calling back to the boys that they were always welcome with us. I miss my real friends. I'm considering moving back to Salt Lake. But so many people there make me dread living there again. I got out! I got away! Why can't they all move to me?!
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